What can warm your heart this fall

So BC…it seems like our record breaking summer of sun has come to an end. And for many, the darker days of a Wet-Coast fall bring a loss of energy and positivity. But if you are single…this can be the kiss of death. Everything can look dark…even your dating prospects. Fortunately, it does not have to be this way. Sometimes all you really need is a slight shift in how you look at life to experience significant improvement in your dating life, especially if your goal is making it past your first dates.

There is a widespread belief that energy flows where ever your attention goes. Similarly, attraction goes wherever positive energy flows. Think about it. If your attention is focused on what you do well and the things that make you happy, then you will be sure to attract someone with a similar disposition. Conversely, if your attention is focused on everything that is wrong with you, the people you end up dating, or the perhaps even the world itself, then you’re pretty much going to reap what you sow.

Your mindset alone can really dictate your dating experiences for the better for the worse. It’s the #1 factor you have 100% control over that can improve your dating life significantly. So I have come up with a few simple tips designed to help you experience a change in mindset for an improved dating life.

1. Choose to see the good in people.

Matchmakers and dating specialists alike have talked to and met with dozens of professional singles. It can sometimes be rather disturbing to hear how jaded people have become over their dating prospects. Stop obsessing over the mental checklist in your head and start focusing on all the things your date is doing right, regardless if you are attracted to them or not. Be sure to acknowledge that this person may not be for you, but appreciate their more admirable qualities and hope to find those same qualities in someone with whom you feel a stronger attraction for.

2. Accept that people aren’t perfect.

No one is perfect–Not you nor your date, and certainly not your proverbial prince or princess. When singles adhere to a checklist of criteria, they tend to lose sight of what’s really matters the most. How does this person make you feel when you are around him or her? How do you make that person feel when he or she is around you?

Everyone has their quirks, but if you wanted to be treated the way you want to be treated, some quirks are worth all the love in the world while other quirks are really just red flags. Know the difference and draw your boundaries appropriately.

3. Infect people with your smile.

It’s a well known fact that people who wear a smile on their face are typically rated as more attractive than people who rarely sport a smile. While this may mostly be true among women, the opposite appears to be true among men. In fact, researchers at the University of British Columbia discovered that brooding men were found more attractive by women than happy, men. Go figure – maybe its related to the rain!

But guys, that doesn’t mean you should start walking around with scornful faces. If you happen to see a woman you’re attracted to, don’t be afraid to at least flash her that sexy smirk of yours, especially if you hope to start a conversation with her. Plus, it’s let’s a woman know you’re still interested when she feels like she can make you smile.

And speaking of looking on the bright side, while it may be damp and cold…it sure makes cuddling up in front of a warm and inviting fire with a hot mocha seem like the perfect end to a great date!

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About the author

Jacquie Brownridge

Jacquie Brownridge is a professional Matchmaker and Managing Director of It’s Just Lunch Canada with offices serving Toronto, Vancouver, Victoria and the Okanagan. A natural communicator and strong networker, it’s her job to get professionals from behind their computers and connecting with singles in their area over lunch, brunch or drinks after work. She works to minimize the stress and maximize the efficiency of the dating process. It’s Just Lunch is the world's largest non-internet dating service with over 100 locations and 19 years experience. Jacquie has appeared on Canada AM, Global News hour, Urban Rush and been featured in numerous newspapers and magazines including: Business in Vancouver, the Globe, and the Vancouver Sun. She and IJL Vancouver have been voted “Best Dating Service” by the Consumer Choice Awards for three years running and most recently the recipient of “Best of Vancouver” Award for Best Dating Service. An Alumna of the University of British Columbia (UBC) Jacquie has a background in Psychology and Business Development. Although known for her ability to bring people together, she has unparalleled business acumen. A lover of travel and the arts, Jacquie has a back ground in music including piano and dance. In her spare time she can often be found on the slopes of Whistler.